Thursday, January 08, 2015

Another year over, and a new one just begun

This year has been a good one overall, but one that ended with the death of my grandfather, age 93. As I wrote the eulogy for his funeral I had to consider his long life, but also all the places he had been, people he touched, and accomplishments he accrued. He had a very good life in all respects. He lived a long and healthy life, had a long and happy marriage, had 4 kids that all did pretty well for themselves, had a successful business, was a productive and giving member of the community and generally was loved by all who knew him.

About ten years ago I was taking a class in university, I believe it was on Greek history. At the time the instructor had us reading passages and one such passage had a father describing the death of his son in battle. It was described as, “a good death”. Prior to that the idea of a good death had never really occurred to me, probably I was just too young to think about that. More and more since then I have considered what it is to have a good life, to have a good death and how those two things are related.
Essentially, I have boiled a good life down to one in which you gain the most utility for the least input. In other words, one in which you gain pleasure without expending much energy on your own. That sounds really hedonistic and in some ways it is, but it is actually much more mundane than that because it forces you to consider a lot of long term impacts your current decisions might have. Its also a bit liberating because you realize that a lot of the time what you do will have no impact on your success or failure. This frees you to do things as you like, wear what you like, say what you like most of the time and probably best of all to realize that you have no obligation to care about things that are fleeting.  It boils down to making sure that you and your loved ones are best taken care of and I think it also leads to a lot more meaningful lives and interactions rather than a life focused on keeping up with the Joneses or worrying about others’ judgments. We are who we are, not much will change that so its best to accept it and just do the best with what we have rather than lamenting what we don’t have or what we could have done. I guess it will take many more years to see if that is actually true, but I can’t see how it wouldn’t be. How can being comfortable in your own skin be wrong?

A good death can have many meanings, but essentially I think it means a death that is desirable or perhaps one we can be at peace with knowing. My grandfather’s death was a good one by my standards and the standards of his community. He lived a long and relatively pain free life, he spent almost all of his elder years at home with my mother Mary and other family around him and in the end he died in his bed after showing almost no signs of pain or concern. I think also a good death involves, for me, the knowledge that the life I have lead up to it has been a productive one, one where the utility was maximized not only for me, but for those around me. Essentially, did I contribute something to the world and did I enjoy doing it? That might mean helping lots of people, teaching a long time, spending time with family, traveling more or some other things that I just don’t know yet.

All this to say, this was a good year. I feel like I have maximized my utility, maybe a little too much as my trousers are getting a bit snug. In the past year I travelled a lot, something I love to do. I went to Japan twice, to Okinawa, Osaka, Tokyo, Nagano, and then to Aizu where I once lived. I went to the US twice to see family. I travelled throughout Malaysia and said goodbye to my island home of Penang to go to Beijing. I scored a great job teaching a subject I love in a great school. I had lots of opportunity to study Chinese and to explore the city. My sidekick has also been doing well, with her job, health, and her utility too. Though my grandfather died this year, he has a good life and a good death so there is little to lament. Life is good, here is to living a “good” one and to a new year. 

No comments: